Most of you know that my husband got a new job, we moved to a new state, and purchased a new home. We knew we wanted to get a home that we could see ourselves in forever. Yes we bought a house in Illinois that probably could have been a forever home and it was our home for only 3 1/2 years. Isn't it funny how our "forever" plans can change so quickly? We bought a house much more expensive than our last house and required a larger down payment and a larger monthly mortgage payment. Lower tax rates in IN and lower mortgage interest rates made the house we live in now attainable. We have one income in our home and until you've had only one income in your home, you just don't understand what it's like. Kevin and I joke all the time what we did with all of our money when we were both working professional jobs with no Mr. London to pay for. Yes some went into the bank, but definitely not as much as we could have or should have. When we moved in, we had the house repainted, I decorated many of the rooms with new things, we bought new living room furniture, purchased a lovely new fridge, and upgraded our screened in porch to a 3 season glass/window room. In order to do these things, we have made a lot of sacrifices. We do not have cable TV. We have a roku box that we stream $7.99 netflix through. We bought a $35 antenna that we are able to get local channels...most importantly ABC and Fox. We do not have a landline phone with a phone company. We bought a $40 OB talk box that allows us to use a free google voice phone number with regular phone handsets. No I never heard of any of this before Kevin, lol. We also have a prepaid cell phone. I repeat WE DO NOT HAVE A SMART PHONE. No I don't have an app that tells me what I can eat, wear, or when I should sleep. We have a budget for ever category and we log every dime we spend. Why am I saying all this? Because I feel like some people think their sacrifices are necessary for everyone in the world. and it's not the case. These are choices that WE have made in order to have the house we have and have it look the way we want it to look. Some people may choose to have 2 incomes in their home in order to get by, where we only have 1. Some people may think it's impossible to live without a smart phone, where as I feel it's impossible to live without going out to eat once or twice a week. Everyone is different and that's ok. Is it ok to be in debt? No. You need to be able to spend only what you have.. Dave Ramsey has some financial seminar/course thing that a lot of people have went to. He makes you cut up your credit cards or something. I think it's dumb. You are an adult and you need to act like one. It doesn't matter if you put it on a credit card or pay cash, just don't spend what you don't have. We put everything on our credit card, why?? BECAUSE OUR CREDIT CARD MAKES US MONEY!! We probably get $40-$70 a month back in cash. I put every bill I can on our credit card. I will put a $0.25 charge on a credit card if I can. Will I pay more to use my credit card, such as a processing fee, um no. That would be stupid. Do I let my credit card bill balance roll over a month? Um no, then I would be paying more for something than I needed to. Do I feel like we have all the financial answers in the world? Obviously not. I spend too much each month and we find ourselves going negative in certain categories at times. We are learning and striving to be positive in every area while still enjoying life. Some people think it's important to spend $50 on a nice meal where we would rather hit up something cheaper and then take London to some evening event. Some people would buy tickets regularly to go to baseball or football games where we feel it's better to buy new bar stools for our basement. Everyone has their own priorities. Who am I to say that my priorities are the ones that everyone should follow?
I want everyone to just chill out on your life and judging others about their money. Your life may be great and may be working for you, but that doesn't mean it's the only way to live life or spend your money. I buy pampers diapers and wipes and Charmin toilet paper. It's the best. It's what I want to spend my money on. You may say I should buy generic everything or organic everything, but that's just not us. There are some things we will buy generic and some things we will buy name brand. I'm sure if we looked at all of your expenses, you will find that there are places where you splurge and I save. Don' t judge me for wanting the more expensive toilet paper.
We will always give our tithe first, no matter how horrible the month has been or what has come up. God promises us that if we are faithful to him, he will provide. Kevin always gives to his 401k program. Face it, one day we won't be able to work and you can't count on the government to help you out. The way it's going, there won't be any social security left for us 20 year olds. We always pay our bills on time. We may not save like we should in general savings or have as much in savings as we would like, but we are working on it.
Last thought... young people...save, save, save. Live at home as long as you can and save. Save as long as you can before you have kids. When you have kids, work it out so the mommy can stay home. I recently had someone tell me that you can always start your career later, you can't start over your child's childhood. I believe it and never regret stepping down from my career. Being a stay at home mommy has seriously fulfilled my life in ways a career never could.
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
TANGIBLE goals are so much more rewarding!
I am not one to set goals very often. Of course I have said "I will lose 10 pounds" every January 1st as my New Year's resolution...then again March 1st as my "get ready for summer" resolution...and then again July 1st as my "I haven't done it yet and it's so hot, I have to be in shorts, and I feel depressed looking at all the girls in bikinis" resolution. By September 1st I just get ready for the hoodie and layering season. The whole process will start over again January 1st.
During October - December last year, we were in the process of moving. That meant we had to declutter the house before listing, keep it perfect for showings, and then pack it up once we had a contract. We had to do this all with a 1 1/2 year old boy who loves making messes. It took all my time and attention to just keep the house together. That left no time for keeping up with walking on the treadmill, which is what I had been doing since London was born to keep in shape and keep my weight down. Then once we moved to Fishers, IN, we were living out of boxes, eating out too much ,and I was dealing with the new diagnosis of melanoma skin cancer. In those 4 months, I gained 10 pounds. Someone (and I honestly have no idea who it was, I just remember a conversation with someone and their face is a blur) once told me that they bought a piece of clothing that was too small for motivation to lose weight. I have done that twice in my life, once recently. I was looking through the clearance racks at Target in January. I tried on a pair of navy skinny jeans in the size that I used to be before I gained the "moving" weight. The jeans didn't even button! I bought those suckers anyways! I explained to Kevin that I was so mad that these jeans didn't fit. He asked me why I was buying them when they did't fit..my reply was "BECAUSE THEY SHOULD!" (and because they were a really good price). Once I had my melanoma surgery, got a clean bill of health, and healed up, we joined the Indy YMCA. A friend from church, sweet Marie, told me about some of the free exercise classes that the Y offers. I've been working really hard going to the classes and doing some treadmill workouts on my own at home. I tried on the navy jeans the other day and the darn things fit! Of course I knew I lost weight even before trying the jeans on. I've been weighing myself daily. I know it's not what you should do, but it's what I do to keep myself accountable everyday. Seeing the number go down on the scale was rewarding at first, but then it just kind of stopped. It felt fantastic to put those jeans on and button them. It made the idea of losing weight a reality by being able to see jeans that didn't button, now fit. It made my day.
So I challenge you, if you have a weight goal, make it tangible. Pick out something that you used to be able to fit in, but no longer do, or buy something new that doesn't quite fit, but you hope will and work towards fitting into it. I guarantee the day you slip on that piece of clothing and it fits, it will be so much more rewarding than seeing a number on the scale. The scale can be a dangerous thing ,at times, for women, retaining water, PMS, adding muscle mass can all hinder your weight loss from showing as quickly as you think it will. Seeing is believing. Set a goal that you can literally see the results.
During October - December last year, we were in the process of moving. That meant we had to declutter the house before listing, keep it perfect for showings, and then pack it up once we had a contract. We had to do this all with a 1 1/2 year old boy who loves making messes. It took all my time and attention to just keep the house together. That left no time for keeping up with walking on the treadmill, which is what I had been doing since London was born to keep in shape and keep my weight down. Then once we moved to Fishers, IN, we were living out of boxes, eating out too much ,and I was dealing with the new diagnosis of melanoma skin cancer. In those 4 months, I gained 10 pounds. Someone (and I honestly have no idea who it was, I just remember a conversation with someone and their face is a blur) once told me that they bought a piece of clothing that was too small for motivation to lose weight. I have done that twice in my life, once recently. I was looking through the clearance racks at Target in January. I tried on a pair of navy skinny jeans in the size that I used to be before I gained the "moving" weight. The jeans didn't even button! I bought those suckers anyways! I explained to Kevin that I was so mad that these jeans didn't fit. He asked me why I was buying them when they did't fit..my reply was "BECAUSE THEY SHOULD!" (and because they were a really good price). Once I had my melanoma surgery, got a clean bill of health, and healed up, we joined the Indy YMCA. A friend from church, sweet Marie, told me about some of the free exercise classes that the Y offers. I've been working really hard going to the classes and doing some treadmill workouts on my own at home. I tried on the navy jeans the other day and the darn things fit! Of course I knew I lost weight even before trying the jeans on. I've been weighing myself daily. I know it's not what you should do, but it's what I do to keep myself accountable everyday. Seeing the number go down on the scale was rewarding at first, but then it just kind of stopped. It felt fantastic to put those jeans on and button them. It made the idea of losing weight a reality by being able to see jeans that didn't button, now fit. It made my day.
So I challenge you, if you have a weight goal, make it tangible. Pick out something that you used to be able to fit in, but no longer do, or buy something new that doesn't quite fit, but you hope will and work towards fitting into it. I guarantee the day you slip on that piece of clothing and it fits, it will be so much more rewarding than seeing a number on the scale. The scale can be a dangerous thing ,at times, for women, retaining water, PMS, adding muscle mass can all hinder your weight loss from showing as quickly as you think it will. Seeing is believing. Set a goal that you can literally see the results.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Just Keep Swimming
It seems like every summer we see all the complaints about how short the shorts are and how tiny the swimsuits have become. I've never been one to fall into this category of complaining. I've always been honest with myself and thought....if my legs looked that good, I would wear that short of shorts. If my stomach was that flat or my boobs that perky and full, your darn right I would be in a tiny bikini. However, my body has never been perfect, in any way. I weighed 185 pounds in Jr. High and 185 pounds when I was pregnant. I've lost 50-60 pounds twice in my lifetime. That completely puts a toll on your body. Some women bounce right back and everything goes back like a rubberband. I think God forgot to put the elastic in my skin or something. Any hoo...I've worn my share of short shorts and bikinis. I never looked like some 50-60 celebrities do, but I wore them and I was happy wearing them. If a bikini makes you feel good, then wear it. If short shorts make you feel good, then wear them. Who am I to say you don't look good enough or fit enough to wear them?
Since having my son, I do not feel comfortable in a bikini.I did not feel comfortable in my tankini either. I've always said that 1 piece bathing suits are A. unflattering and B. Too momish, unless of course you are one of the Kardashians and you have slits cut out of them all over the place. Well, just like every other style that comes around that I say I will never participate in (and then 2 months later I jump on the bandwagon just in time for the style to be replaced with something new)...I purchased a 1 piece bathing suit today. I was walking to the dressing room at Target and I spotted a cute printed 1 piece. The ruching in the mid section looked appealing and the cup support was a huge plus. I look at the tag and behold the maker of the swimsuit was Spanx. For those of you who have never heard of Spanx, it is a brand of shapewear for women. I honestly do not own a single pair of shapewear. I am not at the point where I want to wear shapewear to feel good in something I am wearing. I would rather know what I see in the mirror is me and not me in a straight jacket. If you own or use shapewear and like it, keep doing it. It's your secret and no one has to know. A bathing suit is a place where I accept all the shapewear in the world. If you are interested in trying one of these swimsuits, I've posted the link HERE. I confirmed with my friend Megan that $50 for a swimsuit that doesn't make you cry is not too much. I'm not sure why it says it's not sold in stores, because I bought it in the store. There are a few other patterns/styles. I would suggest trying out one of these swimsuits or at least investing in one that is made by someone who is used to making shapewear. Just because I can't wear a bikini doesn't mean I'm ready to invest in a ruffled bathing skirt/dress.
And on the subject of shorts...I've invested in a little longer of shorts. Now that I have London, I can no longer take my time to squat nicely. I spend half my day bending over to pick him up, find things under the couch, or crawling in very small spaces in order to get him un "tuck" (un stuck). I can't have London be embarrassed that his mom's butt cheeks are hanging out. Good thing for me, bermudas are still in and and so are skinny skimmers.
Since having my son, I do not feel comfortable in a bikini.I did not feel comfortable in my tankini either. I've always said that 1 piece bathing suits are A. unflattering and B. Too momish, unless of course you are one of the Kardashians and you have slits cut out of them all over the place. Well, just like every other style that comes around that I say I will never participate in (and then 2 months later I jump on the bandwagon just in time for the style to be replaced with something new)...I purchased a 1 piece bathing suit today. I was walking to the dressing room at Target and I spotted a cute printed 1 piece. The ruching in the mid section looked appealing and the cup support was a huge plus. I look at the tag and behold the maker of the swimsuit was Spanx. For those of you who have never heard of Spanx, it is a brand of shapewear for women. I honestly do not own a single pair of shapewear. I am not at the point where I want to wear shapewear to feel good in something I am wearing. I would rather know what I see in the mirror is me and not me in a straight jacket. If you own or use shapewear and like it, keep doing it. It's your secret and no one has to know. A bathing suit is a place where I accept all the shapewear in the world. If you are interested in trying one of these swimsuits, I've posted the link HERE. I confirmed with my friend Megan that $50 for a swimsuit that doesn't make you cry is not too much. I'm not sure why it says it's not sold in stores, because I bought it in the store. There are a few other patterns/styles. I would suggest trying out one of these swimsuits or at least investing in one that is made by someone who is used to making shapewear. Just because I can't wear a bikini doesn't mean I'm ready to invest in a ruffled bathing skirt/dress.
And on the subject of shorts...I've invested in a little longer of shorts. Now that I have London, I can no longer take my time to squat nicely. I spend half my day bending over to pick him up, find things under the couch, or crawling in very small spaces in order to get him un "tuck" (un stuck). I can't have London be embarrassed that his mom's butt cheeks are hanging out. Good thing for me, bermudas are still in and and so are skinny skimmers.
My adult diary has no lock, lucky you!
Like every 8-12 year old girl, I owned a few diaries in my time. They came complete with the little lock that could be opened without a key and just a little effort when pulling. However, I felt secure writing whatever I wanted since I had the keys and the diary had the lock. Hindsight is always 20/20, huh. Well, I'm no longer 10 and typing on a white background isn't as exciting as writing with a sparkly pink gel pen that smells like strawberries. But, I read somewhere that journaling helps you to remove mental blocks and thus allows you to use all of your brainpower to better understand yourself. I don't know how you feel about yourself, but I believe I know myself pretty well. I mean, hey, I'm in these shoes all day, everyday....what else is there to learn? The more moms I meet through London, the more I realize that moms feel more peer pressure than kids in high school. Every mom I know follows at least one blog that explains to them how advanced their child is, how clean their house is, how they decorated every room of their house with recycled trash, how they are able to feed a house of 5 for just pennies, they post pictures of their "casual" outfits that look like a Gap ad, and that it's 100% normal for a post baby body to fit into a victoria secret swimsuit. I'm not saying these blogs are bad. I read many of these blogs and they help motivate me to do things better in my own life. If you fall into one of these categories, then I'm happy for you. You should be proud of everything you are and everything your family is. However, I am writing my blog for all of the moms, heck not even moms, all the women who doesn't fit into any of those categories. Keeping a diary may be helpful for a 12 year old. I'm 25 and I think sharing my experiences with other women is better therapy. Being able to tell someone, no I don't fit into my pre-baby bathing suit and I never will, is comforting. We all know that a child changes things, just like a marriage. Your body changes, your priorities change, your whole personality starts to change. You are no longer Ashley, but you become Mom. This blog just allows me to have some time as Ashley. I hope you follow, comment, share, and enjoy.
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